Setback

Well, to say that we have had a setback is very disheartening.

We have.

We went in for her 2 week post op check up, and she had an x-ray done.

Our surgeon and his PA popped in the x-ray disc, and the PA said 'it's out.'

The words NO parent who has been through this wants to hear.  Our surgeon confirmed indeed, that Lucy's femur is right back out of the socket where it was before the surgery. 

If you can imagine that feeling of your heart sinking into your stomach, that was what we felt.  There we were, holding our huge casted baby, knowing that the cast was there for pretty much nothing.

I can't even begin to tell you... I don't know if I wanted to break down and cry, or punch the surgeon and everyone in that office in the face!  (I know, calm down, Karen!!)  It's true though... 

To some people, 2 weeks isn't a big deal.  BUT to a parent with their child in a body cast, every MINUTE is a big deal.  It's a big deal not to sleep.  It's a big deal to watch your child in pain and discomfort.  It's a big deal to see their frustration.  IT IS A BIG DEAL.  It's not fun to practice with a cast.  It's not fun to ever have to go through it... So, yes, again, it's a big deal when you have wasted 2 weeks of precious time with your child.

I do have to say Lucy did just fine in her cast.  BUT it's not something I ever want for her to have to keep going through!

So, with that said... how did it pop out in the cast?  Who knows.  The surgeon believes the cast wasn't at the best angle, and he wants to re-do it with her knee set higher.  So you know what this means.  Going in again, dealing with the fear and worry of your baby going under, and praying every minute that this big ugly cast can hold this bone in place.  

I did notice she lost weight, so I wonder if the cast got too loose?

I don't know.  I have been 'what if-fing' this for the last 24 hours, and there is just no answer.  Unlucky is the best one I can come up with.

The good news (if that's what you can call it) is that he won't have to open up Lucy again.  No cutting, no surgery.  He is going to put her to sleep, manipulate the bone back in, and re cast it at a different angle.  

We did get this cast removed yesterday, since there was really no point in having it on.  Yes, it was the best feeling to hug her and feel her, but at the same time, so painful to know that we start all over again.  Another first night, first week, first sponge bath, etc.  

After they cut the cast off, he came in to re examine her, steering very clear of this momma bear.  The wind was pretty much out of his sails.  I think he was just as shocked as we were.  Again, he is the head honcho of pediatric orthopedics.  It just goes to show you, NO ONE is perfect.  He messed with her legs, and said he can put it right back in now... He did it.  It just pops out.  So the answer is the cast needs to be done differently.  Her sockets are perfect also.

The first time, they already opened her up, cut the tendons around her femur to release it, so now her femur is floating around her hip like a lost puppy!  

I don't want to say her surgery was a failure.  I believe the cast was a failure.  

Before we left the hospital, he had a CT scan done on Lucy that showed her femur was perfectly in place.  Somehow, in 2 weeks time, it came out.

I am not going to lose faith in this doctor.  My first thoughts were to switch and 'what if' we chose the wrong guy.  'What if' we went to the first doctor we had a consult with.  

I honestly believe our choice in Dr. Segal was the right one, I just think that this is the way orthopedics go, and it SUCKS that it is my baby who is paying the price.  

It's one thing if it was me.  I SO WISH IT WAS ME who had to go through this and not her.  Heck, if I could trade places I would do ANYTHING to keep Lucy from ever having any discomfort, pain or anything hurtful in her life.  

Any parent reading this will understand.  The love you feel for this little tiny person you created is the most amazing thing in the world.  The mental anguish of going through this once is enough.  Let alone, twice... and this time, just praying that it works.  

Again, in the whole scope of life, Lucy is the smartest little 14 month old you would ever meet!  She knows where her ears, hair, nose and eyes are... She knows 'Where's Lucy?'  She beats her chest!  I say 'where's mama' and she points to me.  She knows what a cow sounds like, dog, snake, monkey and horsey.  Yep, that's my baby!  (Brag much?!)  She just has one hip that isn't wanting to co-operate!

So anyway... I know most of you know this update, but it really helps me to get it out via this blog since Aaron can only take me talking about it for so long until he gets upset... :-(  

On a happy note, I have a squishy little baby right now.  Chunky thighs and the softest skin EVER!  We are just going to enjoy every bath and every full night's sleep until Monday.  Monday, March 5th at 7:30 am.  We will back to PCH and my little sweetie will be back in a cast.  NOT a pink one this time.  That obviously wasn't a lucky color.  Purple (to match her room) will be the color of choice. 

Ahhhhh....... SUCKS!  Sucks really, really bad.  But... we can only all move forward and PRAY really hard that this works and her cast is perfect, she is comfortable and we make it through these next 12 weeks.  Nothing else to say.  I just hate the fact that we are back to square one.  

What is also hard is that we came home yesterday, cast free, and Lucy crawled to the chair, pulled herself up and started walking and pushing the chair around the house... like no big deal at all.  

That's my girl. :-) 

Since Aaron was off today, we decided to get out.  We had to.  It's pretty depressing around our house right now when Lucy is asleep.  Our minds keep running away from us... Then she gets up from nap and laughs and we give her raspberries on her tummy and I say, 'Holy cow I LOVE THIS KID' and I vow to do everything in the entire world to get her through this.  

So please, on Monday, please pray that this one works and we can get through this easily and quickly.  

Here are some pictures of our day at the Phoenix Zoo.  We loaded up her new radio flyer wagon and took off.  No pillows to prop her up!  We just went... :)  Of course, the first thing she wanted to do was ride the carousel.  So we did.  And then on the way out... she is jumping in her wagon freaking out again when we pass the carousel.  So what does momma do?  Take her on it again. (Mind you, Aaron and I both get SO dizzy from them!)  So there we were, dizzy momma and the most beautiful little girl on the carousel.  Round and round... The laughs and smiles from her keep us going!

Here are a few pics from today and yesterday.  

More to come and Monday can't come soon enough for these worried parents.....

I told you she was the most beautiful girl in the world!

First time around, riding the eagle

Making sure she was happy with the wagon :-)

Faster dada!!!! GOOOO!!!!!

Petting zoo!

LOVE HER

Thighs on the way home!

MOOO!!!!!

My angel baby

Monkey!

YAY!

She pets so soft because she is used to petting soft with the doggies