Monday, June 4, 2012

One more night!

Did I ever think that I would be saying ONE more night?!  Nope.
Well, technically, it's TWO more nights, but since today is almost over, I am going to go with ONE more night! :-)
It's so weird... a total roller coaster of emotions right now.  Of course, I am BEYOND thrilled to get this cast off of my baby!  On the other hand, I am nervous for what is to come... how sore will she be?  How long will she be sore for?  Will her hip socket continue to grow?  blah blah blah... the worry doesn't end with the cast removal.
Like I said in my previous posts, Lucy is going to have to wear a foam brace that is removable around her thighs to help wean her off the cast, and keep her legs in the correct position to encourage proper growth. We are expecting about 6 weeks full time.  Of course, it can come off for baths and diaper changes.  I have requested two of them since we want to go in the pool! Heck, we pay enough every month for insurance, they can cough up another brace for us.
13 weeks.  2 days.  PLUS a 12 day 'practice run' where the hip slipped out while in the cast... total of 16 weeks.  The longest 16 weeks of my life.
I am not going to lie.  Each day feels like a week.  Each week feels like a month.  I don't know how in the heck we have survived it, but somehow, we have.  Yes, I feel totally robbed of the 'toddler' phase of my baby.  To some, that may sound like a treat, but really... like I have said, I would give anything in the world for this to have been ME, not her!  I would have given ANYTHING just to see her walk when she turned one, to see her run through sprinklers once it got hot, to see her be 'normal.'  I was robbed of that.  No doubt.  That's neither here nor there at this point, but these emotions never truly go away.  I will forever remember these experiences and never EVER forget how this feels.
I remember vividly Feb. 17th, handing Lucy off to the nurse to go back for surgery.  I don't think I will ever forget that feeling of total helplessness.  Handing MY baby girl to complete strangers.  Running into the bathroom at the hospital afterwards and bawling my eyes out like a baby.  Waiting in the waiting room for Dr. Segal to come tell us how our baby is. We had to do this THREE times during the last few months, and I swear, it NEVER gets easier.  We have sat by her bed three times now in a recovery room, watching our little girl come out of anesthesia.  Laying there like a perfect angel, breathing in scented oxygen.  We have watched her wake up with her legs bound by a cast three times.  I hate that this has become 'normal' for her.  I hate it... We have just kept busy to keep our minds off it, but in the back of my mind, every single day, it KILLS me.
How did we pass the time?  Honestly, it feels like such a blur now.  We did something EVERY single day.  Aquariums, zoos, museum, walk the mall, visiting family, etc...We are so lucky to have some wonderful friends who gave up many days of hitting the splash pad or pool to join us at our indoor activities.  You know who you are, we love you!
My sister.  I can't say enough good things about her.  She has been our lifesaver, and has come to help us out SO much.  She has been our shining star through this whole experience.... HUGS to you Mel!
I also want to say thank you to our amazing Facebook group.  There are moms and dads from all over the world that have been the most amazing support group ever.  I have made some great friends on there, and I feel like all of our kids have gone through this together, even though we have never met!  Let me tell ya, if I ever go back to England, or decide to visit Australia or New Zealand, I am going to party it up with these women!  Of course, the 'amazing Americans' on there have been a God send as well.  You ladies are DA BOMB!
I remember sitting here somedays thinking, 'it's only 7 am... I have 62 days left of this. OMG.  How am I going to do this?'  Yes, the countdown always begins the minute the surgery is over!  
There were some days where I cried all day.  Actually, there were weeks like that.  Many, many weeks.  There were days that I looked at Lucy... at her perfect smiling happy face and just thanked God that he gave me the most wonderful, well adjusted, happy, trusting baby in the world.   I don't know if I could have made it through this well if it wasn't for her amazing personality.  I am beyond proud to be her mom, and she has taught me more about life than anyone or anything.  Even in a spica cast, only 1 years old, just learning to say words... she has taught me unconditional love.  Thank you God for giving the best to me!  
Well friends, my next post will be with pictures of the cutest legs you have ever seen.  (NO, not mine!) LOL~
Wish us luck on Wednesday... We are so excited... yet scared... yet thrilled... I don't even know what I am right now!  (On top of this, being pregnant has me all crazy in the head.....)
Over and out from sunny Arizona.  

Lucy's brother SLIM checking out her new outside toys!

Our last casted carousel ride today!

Yes. Shoot me now please...

Aquarium day!

Even though she is in a cast, that doesn't mean we don't dance.  DANCE PARTY!!!!
This was taken at the museum a few weeks ago :-)  

Bye Bye Fishies.  Next time you see me I will have legs again!

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