Monday, April 9, 2012

Bite your tongue...

I have been wanting to write this post for awhile... 
I am absolutely not trying to complain... Well, maybe a little.... :-)
Over the last few months I have really learned a lot.  A lot about love, people, life and everything in between.  Having your baby (no matter what age) go through 2 surgeries in 2 weeks and be confined to a body cast is enough to make anyone gasp.  Well, we have done it, and we are almost half way through. :)
Seeing or hearing about any child having to go through something like this is hard.  People want to know 'what happened' and most of the time they will stop at nothing to run over to you and stick their nose where it doesn't belong.
Of course, education and early intervention are KEY in hip dislocations.  When people ask 'what happened?' I take the time to explain to them about DDH, and the early warning signs that our pediatrician missed.  Yep, I said it.  She MISSED IT!  (Yes, we are finding a new one and will not go back to her again.)
First off, can I just say that I would NEVER EVER in a million years go up to a total stranger and ask them about any issues with their child.  Frankly, it's just not my business.  I would never stare at anyone, let alone a child, point from across the room, or say 'aw, poor thing' as I walk by.  Yep, people do it.  They do it ALL the time.  They grab the person that they are with on the arm, whisper, point and then give me a sad face or cover their mouths gasping as they walk by.
For those who know me, you know this S%$# doesn't fly.  I sure do say something.  Usually I try to be nice and say 'she had a dislocated hip since birth,' or for the really 'special' people, I remind them of how unpolite it is to stare.  I know, I know 'they aren't worth my time' yadi yada yada... I can't help it... I am who I am, and no one... Hear it, NO ONE is going to stare and point at my beautiful daughter and get away with it.  
I almost feel sad for these people in a way.  GOD FORBID they ever have to deal with anything other than their perfect little lives.  Well guess what... Life happens whether we want it to or not.  There are so many people in this world hurting for so many reasons.  It breaks my heart to think of children with deformities or any kind of disability.  I wouldn't blame their parents for carrying a slingshot with them at all times and flailing rocks at people's heads who are so darn rude.  (I hope I don't give anyone any crazy ideas...)  haha.
The other day we went to pick up a sandwich for my hubby to bring to him at work.  A big ol' tattooed dude came over and kindly said, 'did she have a dislocated hip?'  I said 'yes, how did you know?'  His answer was 'been there, done that with my 18 month old daughter.'  His eyes welled up in tears as he told me her story, and it warmed my heart to hear that she is all better now and on the road to recovery.
Of course, most people just don't know.  The cast is total body armor, and it does look weird.  I can't lie.  
I wanted to share a few things that I have heard over the last few months, since some of you reading this will have your children casted soon, so be prepared.  

- 'how did she break her legs?'
Usually if you are feeling froggy you can answer with 'well, she didn't eat all of her dinner...soooooo....'  That will really freak em out.

- 'Well, at least they found it early.'
WRONG.  This should have been picked up the SECOND Lucy was born.  Most cases can be fixed if caught early without surgery.

- 'Wow, I don't know how you do it, I know I couldn't do it.'
What choice do I have??  This is the LOVE OF MY LIFE, the center of my world.  Do you think that I wouldn't do everything in my power to ensure her health and happiness?  As a mom, every minute, every second of the day I am thinking of Lucy.  If you are the kind of parent who doesn't think you could 'handle this' then there is a problem.  Yes, its hard.  Yes, it will break you down emotionally, but you know what?  You do it, because you LOVE your child.

My personal favorite is when people would literally knock over a person to run over to you and say 'OH MY GOSH what happened?!'  or 'OH POOR BABY GIRL HOW AWFUL!!!"  Yah, let's just all sit around and feel sorry for her, when she obviously isn't feeling sorry for herself.  Complete strangers will stick their nose in your business, which just is mind boggling to me!
Again, people who come up to us and who are polite, fine.  I have had so many people share their stories of 'someone they know' who had hip issues.  
Also, my friends.  I LOVE you all and you know who you are.  I will talk about it with them any time, any place and they can ask anything.  Just strangers are so annoying.
Sorry for the ranting post today, but it needs to be said.  Stare and point at my kid, be prepared to get a slingshot to the forehead. (haha!)
I am lucky to have the best stroller EVER... the City Select Baby Jogger.  It has an option to flip the seat so the baby faces you.  That's what we do now when we go out to prevent people's noses shoved up in Lucy's face.  Much easier.
Weird thing is that I have found that teens... well, ages 15-21 approx are the nicest, most compassionate group of people as a whole!  They are usually so helpful opening doors, and blowing Lucy kisses!  I think this next generation has a sensitivity for people/kids who look 'different.'  Whether it's a special need, color, race, whatever... All of the 'no bullying' stuff that schools teach now.  I am very impressed with the young people I have come across.  Of course, most of them are too busy texting to notice, but when they do, they are very sweet.  :-P
It's funny because doing animal rescue for years, you hear things like this too.  'Oh, I never could do that because I love animals SOOOO much.'  Really?!  Well, that's why I DO IT!  Because I love animals enough to deal with the 'icky stuff' and help them get back on their feet and find a home.  Again, I don't think that anyone means harm, but I do think that people should stop and think before opening their mouths.  
Thanks for listening, and Lucy is almost HALF WAY DONE!  Yep, I said it.  We are in week SIX of this smelly, sweaty cast and two weeks from today we will have her cast changed.  Hip Hip Hooray!  
What color should we get?!
I hope you all had a wonderful Easter.  Here are some pics of the cutest bunny that this momma has ever seen...

Over and out from sunny AZ...

At the AZ Youth Museum playing with a huge light bright!

How we roll now, baby facing momma

On her new trike, she even has a cell phone handy just in case!

WOOHOO!  Thanks Grandma for my awesome trike!

Her new stuffed toy.  One of like twenty she got...

Grandma's house is always fun!

Our new thing. The cast cooler that vacuums her cast dry!

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