Gymboree for me!

Well, today was WAY more of a workout for momma than it was for Lucy!

We decided to go to her normal weekly Gymboree Play and Music Class.  SO FUN!  For those of you who don't know what Gymboree is, it's a little gym with mats and toys.  They have a teacher that sings songs and blows bubbles.  For any person without a child, Gymboree would be worse than Chinese water torture.  haha.  BUT... for babies, it's a blast!  

We decided to go to the younger kids class.  The 6-10 month class, since these little ones aren't walking yet.  I don't want to make Lucy sad! 

I found that there were only a few things that Lucy 'couldn't' do.  The crawling through the obstacle course routine wouldn't work, so we went over and found a mini basketball hoop and threw the balls in the hoop while the other kids did the course.  

She sat on my lap the rest of the time and clapped her little hands! SO cute.  

She loves the bubbles.  The song goes, 'it's bubble time, bubble time, bubble time. B U B B L E bubble bubble time.'  (HAHA!)  Well, it gets Lucy going.  I thought she was going to dance right out of her cast!  

The other parents were really nice and understanding, except one 'genius' who I don't even know... she said 'how did you break her leg?'  REALLY?!  How did I break her leg?  So... (wait for it)... You will be VERY proud of me when I bit my tongue, smiled and explained that her hip was dislocated.  In the back of my head I said 'I am going to break YOUR leg lady!'  BUT... I was good.  I deserve a gold star for good behavior today.  :-)

It should have been called GYM-bor-momma today since I was literally about to die of heat exhaustion lifting this big ol baby up and down, up and down and all around.  I think I lost like 10 lbs!  YAH!

Today was a great day of how we are learning to focus on the things we CAN do.  Sure, she can't do everything at Gymboree, but she loves it SO much, so we will find things she can do.  She rode the rocking horse.  The teacher made her a little 'bed' out of an inner tube and some mats, so I pulled her around like the queen of Sheba.  Lucy loves being the queen.  Little does she know, she is just the princess.  

Here are a few pictures of my trooper.  

This cast isn't going to stop us from doing the things we love.  We just have to be creative!

Keep your fingers crossed her X Ray tomorrow is perfect!

Lucy waiting for the clown 'Gymbo' to come give her a kiss 

The rocking horse never looked so good. :)

We stopped to visit Grandpa for lunch after!

Bring on the toys!

My party baby

I love this... I know I always throw a few quotes in my blogs, but how true is this?!

Grandpa tickling my toes!

First week complete!

Well, here we are again... Week 1... complete.  CHECK!  

I think this week has felt like the longest week of my life.  I love when my friends say, 'oh it's going by fast!'  Umm, no it's not, but that's ok... I wish!  

We are making it though!  I feel like a pro at this now, so things have seemed a bit easier this time around.  I was already prepared with the diapering, the toys and the non stop entertainment.  :-)  The things I have done to entertain this kid, as well as the positions I have had to move in to carry her and hold her... I should be a contortionist!  

We are keeping as busy as we can.  We try to do something every day.  Whether it's a visit to the grandparents house, grocery store, visit friends... we try to keep busy.  I hate staying in the house!  We will be in the house pretty much the whole month of May since it will be too hot for Lucy to be out in her cast... 

Anywho... 

L has now learned to say 'All done' so now when we do anything she is bored with, she moves her hands and says 'all done.'  Nice.  :-)

We are back to being Starbucks regulars.  Sleep isn't really a huge thing around our house, which is okay.  I actually am getting used to it.  (Never thought I would say that!)  When L woke up after 2 hours of sleep last night, I woke up and said, 'hmm, I wonder what time it is because I feel great!'  haha...

Speaking of sleep, or lack thereof, L is now my new sleeping buddy.  I was always totally against co-sleeping with a baby since I believe they need their own space.  Well, that's out the window now since it's way easier to roll over and rub her forehead and tell her to go back to sleep then to get out of bed and go to her room every hour or so.  It's kind of nice to wake up and hear her talking and babbling.  :-)

We went to the hospital for a follow up X-ray last week, and it showed the hip is still in.  We go in again on Wednesday of this week.  I SO hope and pray that it stays in.  It's so hard wondering every day if this is being done for nothing again.  But, I guess Rome wasn't built in a day... It's a process... Then again, if I was in charge of building Rome, it probably would have been built in a day.  :-)  I hate not having any control over this!  

Lucy is back on a routine and doing well.  Since the latest procedure was just a cast change, no surgery, she bounced back in a day or so.  They used gas, not a general anesthesia.  I was happy about that, but man... her coming out of that was ROUGH.  She pretty much screamed all day.  She looked drunk as heck, and I told Aaron to remember this face, because when she comes home at 16 drunk as a skunk, this is what to look for.  Aaron loaded her in the car and drove around the entire city for hours to get her to finally fall asleep.  He went through 3/4 tank of gas!  Whatever it takes, right?!

This cast is way higher than the last one.  Her leg angle, I mean.  It seems to be bulkier around her hip, but it's more compact at top.  It makes it easier to carry.  (As easy as a huge baby in a huge cast can possibly be.)

I have told a few other people going through this that the hardest part of this isn't what you think it will be.  It's not the diapering or the little sleep.  It's when Lucy points to other kids playing when we are on our walk.  She points and smiles and starts shaking her head YES.  It literally rips my heart out that she can't get down and play with them.  Even when her cast comes off, it will take awhile for her to gain strength.  It is really hard.  Every time I think I am going to break down, I stop myself.  I keep telling myself that soon L will be running the playground, bossing the other kids around, and climbing up the slide.  Trying to stay positive is so darn hard!  I can't wait for the day that she can do things the other kids can do.

Again, yes... it's a few months, but the biggest scare is needing MORE surgery and this not working.  It is possible... :-(  KEEP THE FAITH, right?!  I just love this kid more than anything... I guess if I didn't worry constantly, that wouldn't be normal.  My little babester...

Crazy... We got our insurance statement with all of the pending transactions.  Just the consultation with the surgeon... they billed our insurance $552!  INSANE.  The surgery was billed at over $32,000.  Thank goodness we have insurance!  

So yep... one day at a time.  I hate that term but it's been my new saying lately.  Here are a few pics of our first week in this ugly purple cast.  

Have a great day!

We went to lunch today! Lucy, me, Michele and Jana.  The bulldog rescue crew!  You can see how my wallet is her new favorite toy.  I probably have checks and credit cards scattered all over the place. 

At the grocery store.  Mashed potatoes please!  (You don't think we have time to actually buy potatoes and cook, peel and mash em do ya?!  Nope.  Pre-made is the way to go!)

My little sweetie playing the piano.  Mozart, watch out.

L has learned how to take pictures on my iPhone.  Nice.

Love you LUCY!!!

I love this saying

It's hard to tell, but we got printed duct tape and spelled out her name on the bottom of the cast

OUCH!  My life with a 14 month old

Beautiful!  Hot pink with a glitter top coat!

Jana got her a HUGE stuffed bulldog and books!  YAH!

Ahhh, so true

Yep, pretty cute

Love this little face

If it's not insane enough that she has her own iPod, other people's kids do too because they make this toy/cover for kids so you can put your iPod or iPhone in there to keep it from being thrown across the room and breaking!  haha.  Yep, spoiled.  No I don't care.  Like I have said before, she is perfect so she can have whatever she wants!

Sitting up in her booster seat at the table like a big girl

Rockin' some leg warmers.  Well, just on one side.  Fashion statement.

'

OWWWWW!!!!!!!

Chillin' out watching the 'Backyardigans.'  Cute show.  I actually like it!

Round 2

Well, here we are again.

Round 2 begins.

I have to say that this time around was WAY harder for me to deal with.  Ok, it was 'just' a cast change and no surgery, but mentally... I was pretty much done. 

For those of you who read this, you know that while in her last cast for 2 weeks, her femur somehow slipped out of the socket.  So yah... we were pretty much keeping our baby bound up in a spica cast for fun... practice... whatever you want to call it.  I call it SUCKY!

Anyways, we got a call the night before her cast change from Dr. Segal's nurse, asking us to come in even earlier.  As if 6:30 wasn't early enough, he wanted her there at 6.

Lucy didn't wake up on the right side of the bed.  I don't blame her.  She was crabby the entire drive there, and not to mention the post op room, which is super bright and loud.  Kids coming and going, crying, etc. 

Dr. Segal comes to talk to us, and told me the entire weekend he has had nightmares of the look on my face when he told me the femur slipped.  Ummm, yah... it wasn't pretty.  He explanied to us that he was going to simply pop the femur back into place and then re cast at another angle.  A 60 degree angle this time as opposed to a 40.  Big difference in the world of orthopedics. 

I asked him, well... begged him not to put a bar between her legs if he didn't have to.  So many of these casts have a huge bar.  I want to be able to hold her as close as I can.  I told the surgeon that our only outing is when we can bring her ride on toys to places, so PLEASE, if you can, no bar.  His answer was 'we will see.'  Crap.  I knew right then he was planning on using a bar.

I told him I want a purple cast (thinking it would be lilac in color, ready for Easter.)  Pink wasn't lucky last time for us.

His nurse took Lucy back, screaming all the way.  My heart literally shattered into a million pieces.  I just kept thinking, 'if this is the last time I see her, this is what I will remember.'  I know... dramatic, but you can't help worry when it's your baby.

We went downstairs to get some coffee, and the lady in line in front of me was bawling.  So was I.  I asked her 'is your child having surgery today?' and she said, 'no, we have been here for 2 weeks and we just want to go home.'  Ugh.

My husband was worried about me, of course, so I try not to freak too much in front of him since that stresses him out more.  I go into the bathroom and literally lose it.  'Cry like a baby' is the best term I can think of.  My poor little girl going through this AGAIN!  AND, to top it all off, it may not work.  I stood there totally helpless bawling like a 2 year old.  People were coming and going... I didn't care. 

I then get it together and we head upstairs to the waiting area, since this procedure was only supposed to be an hour.  We get up there and there is a family of about 8 or 9 people all bawling their heads off.  OH DEAR LORD, get me outta here!  I told my husband I have to wait in the hallway.  I can't be in this room.

The longest hour and ten minutes of my life went by.

Here comes Dr. Segal, covered in plaster, head to toe.  He says 'was I over an hour?!' and I say 'Ummm, yah you are late.'  haha.  He knows me by now.

So... all in all, the femur went in without a problem.  

My first question, of course, was 'is she ok?' and he said yes... Then I said, 'tell me about the cast.'  He smiled... hesitated and said, 'well, there is no bar if that's what you want to know.'  I seriously hugged him.  I know, dramatic again, but it's the little things at this point!  WHEW!

He did the cast this time, not the plaster tech. 

We went back and the nurse was feeding her a bottle.  She saw her momma and again... MY HEART STOPPED.  There she was... so little, so sweet and so perfect.  In every single way.  MY LOVE.

After we held her and kissed her, I noticed that the purple cast was hideous in color!  haha, who cares, right?!  Pink was prettier, but that's ok.  It can be ugly, just fix my kid!  The cast is WAY spread out now, but makes for easier holding on my hip.  Hopefully the bruises on my hip from the last cast will go away. 

Lucy got a CT scan, and it shows the femur is perfect.  Then again, it was perfect last time so who knows.

We got to go home the same day, and Lucy literally screamed from 9 am when she woke up until 5 last night.  Poor Aaron finally drove around with her until she fell asleep.  Horrible.  WAY worse than the first time. 

OH, and not to mention, she had the biggest dump when we got home!  Yep, all over the cast, all over my hands, GROSS.  GREAT... I am going to be stuck with this cast now and it WILL work since it's now dirty and the ugliest purple color.  haha.

Dr. Segal said if this cast is working, he is leaving this one on 8 weeks.  Great.  Ugly and smelly for not only 6, but 8 weeks.  :-)  Again, if it works, I don't care.  :-P

Sleep last night was rough, but to be expected.  The little goose came in to my bed and she held my hand all night long.  I loved it.  Whatever it takes to keep her happy.

So... we go in for a check up on Thursday.  Just hope and pray all is okay with little Lucy baby.  I know I say this all the time, but she is seriously the sweetest, best natured little girl God has ever made.  He saved the best for Aaron and I.  I know, I am bias, but it's true!  Can't fight the truth... :)

So now, we take it day by day.  Dr. Segal said that IF it slips out again, he is taking the cast off and giving us the summer off.  He will then do ANOTHER open reduction surgery with a different approach at the end of the year.  Which means, another cast, etc... Let's just hope it doesn't get to that.  We want the ugly purple cast to work!

So, there is the update.  I am staying positive and hoping and praying every day.  That's all I got! 

She is doing great today.  She woke up happy as can be, little or no pain, and is back to herself.  We are going to try to keep busy, stay on a routine and just get through it.  That's all.

Only the most beautiful girl in the world in the ugliest cast!

My new favorite quote.

The little monkey this morning waiting for her breakfast

HIP IN PLACE! 

Please stay there!

Getting ready. Again.

Well, tomorrow is our last day... again... before the 1st/2nd cast is on.  Confusing, huh?!  

I am preparing now for bringing home my big, huge casted little baby!  It's insane how one tiny little hip bone requires a cast the size of a small country.  Crazy...

Anyways... 

We are trying to enjoy our weekend cast free... I have been trying to let Lucy have some freedom, although I don't want her to get too wild, since the tendons in her left hip area where the surgery was done, are cut!  Honestly, you would never know.  She crawls, stands up and tries to walk.  After 2 weeks of being in a cast, it's like nothing was there at all.  One little patch of dry skin, that's it.  Other than that, business as usual.  CRAZY!

I still am just as upset and nervous as I was the first time around.  This time, it isn't a 'surgery.'  No cutting thank goodness, just a repositioning of the leg since the tendons are already loose, and a new cast.  The surgeon wants to cast her knee a bit higher this time.  It's all about the perfect angle.  And let me tell ya, it better be perfect!  This time around we will go in for a 3-4 day post op check up instead of a 2 week.  He will want to monitor this very closely to ensure this doesn't happen again.  (again, he better make sure it doesn't.)

It's sad... there are so many mixed emotions with this.  Again, yes... it's a cast.  Yes, it sucks.  But goodness gracious, can't it just stay the heck put so she can run and play with the other kids?!  Makes me sad... 

Also, the nervousness... what if this happens again?!  I have this horrible fear of this becoming years and years of this and it's truly scaring the heck out of me.  

All I keep thinking is the George Michael song... 'Ya gotta have FAITH.  Oh you gotta have...faith... yes ya gotta have faith-a-faith-a-faith, ya gotta have faith!'  That's about all I got right now, so this tiny little bone better fit back in the tiny little hip and stick in there this time.

I am on multiple groups of parents going through the same thing.  It helps, but also hurts because you hear the horror stories of bad surgeons.  You also get to hear the success stories and tips, too, which is great to hear, but I have to keep telling myself each child is different.  Each case is different... I am going to try to limit my time on those boards since it can make me crazy some days.

In the meantime, we are getting the house ready... again.  I tried to keep everything normal before.  She slept in her crib (except for the first night home) and kept the same schedule.  

Those who know me know that I am TYPE A to the extreme.  Even being as insane as I am, there are a few things/tips I wanted to share since I know people who are having the same surgery done in a matter of weeks, and I think this will help them!  Some of these same tips really helped me...

Also, I am including a few pics of the sweetest, most amazing baby in the world.  Yep, you heard it folks!  She totally is...  And like my husband told me the other day, 'Lucy is going to get US through this.'  So true.  Anywho... say a million prayers that this one sticks and wish us luck for Monday... :)

A video game bean bag chair.  A must.  This is where I do her sponge baths.

The kitchen counter.  BIBS so the cast doesn't get wet or dirty, binkys galore, and a 'meds' box

Have all of this ready to go since you don't want to be searching for things!

This includes her pain meds from the hospital, infant advil and gas drops.  Since she doesn't move around a lot, gas drops are a must.

Her wagon.  I prop pillows in here and off we go.  She loves it.

For those who think you will get sleep for the time your child is casted, think again.  COFFEE will keep you going!

Umm, hello perfect!  We went swinging at the park today. Cutest baby EVER.  :-)

Ok, this sounds insane. (don't you know me by now?!)  I save all the ads we get in the mail.  She loves to rip paper.  She can sit for hours ripping and making a mess, so we have an 'ad' bag.  Crazy...

Have the bath kit ready to go.  Washcloths, soap, q tips, everything.  The last thing you want is to have a naked (well, kinda) baby mad as heck because you are getting up to get stuff.  Have it all ready to roll.

Pillows.  All shapes, all sizes.  These ones are bean bag ones.  Walgreens has them right now 2 for $10.  

And keep in mind, this is what you look forward to AFTER the cast.  :-)

Love of my life!

Ok, back to the supplies... A 'diaper change' toy kit.  I lay her on the Boppy pillow on the bed to change her.  The diapering takes some time, so have a box of toys to play with (or an iPhone!) to keep her happy while changing.

Yes, I know.  2 strollers, 1 baby.  I hate to even admit I have ANOTHER one which makes THREE!

One inside, one outside (of the little umbrella ones) then the one on the right is our Baby Jogger which is amazing!  She can still fit in it with her cast.  It's the difference of driving a Kia or a Bentley... :)  SOOO smooth!

Ok, yes. I am insane.  She has a new toy ready to go for each week when she gets bored.

Don't judge!  YES I spoil her.  NO I don't care if she's spoiled.  haha... She is perfect so she can have whatever she wants.

Diapers. Have them ready to go!  I use size 1 diapers for the inside the cast part, and size 6 on the outside.  I don't have a tiny kid, so these are better.  The newborn ones were just wayyyy too small.  The hospital recommended those ones, but nope.  Didn't work.

So there you have it.  Welcome to our lives.

A few more things I wanted to add:

1. Binky holder!  She couldn't move that much to get her binky in the night, so I clipped one on her at all times so it's easy to find.  She kept it in for pretty much 2 weeks!  Made her feel safe.
2. LOWER the crib!  We forgot to do that and came home from the hospital with a tired, freaked out baby who was screaming while I realized she was way too heavy and bulky to put all the way down in the crib like normal.  We raised it up to the highest point it could go since she can't stand in it anyways... She has only slept with me 1 night out of the last 14 months.  That was the night she came home from surgery.  I want her to stay in her crib where she is comfortable.
3. Have food ready. The last thing you need is to be worrying about cooking.  We went to Costco and got tons of pre made meals and frozen veggies to have.  Remember, the baby won't fit in a shopping cart with this cast on, so if you are going alone, you only can buy what the stroller allows you to fit.  So... hit the store ahead of time.
4. IVY ROSE SPICA CAST CHAIRS.  This isn't even an option NOT to have.  It's where the baby eats and plays.  It's a must and has been a life saver!

Hope someone, somewhere out there will benefit from this.  I know I asked for lists and tips from the 'pros' and it really helped me. :)  

Take care... over and out from sunny Arizona...

Setback

Well, to say that we have had a setback is very disheartening.

We have.

We went in for her 2 week post op check up, and she had an x-ray done.

Our surgeon and his PA popped in the x-ray disc, and the PA said 'it's out.'

The words NO parent who has been through this wants to hear.  Our surgeon confirmed indeed, that Lucy's femur is right back out of the socket where it was before the surgery. 

If you can imagine that feeling of your heart sinking into your stomach, that was what we felt.  There we were, holding our huge casted baby, knowing that the cast was there for pretty much nothing.

I can't even begin to tell you... I don't know if I wanted to break down and cry, or punch the surgeon and everyone in that office in the face!  (I know, calm down, Karen!!)  It's true though... 

To some people, 2 weeks isn't a big deal.  BUT to a parent with their child in a body cast, every MINUTE is a big deal.  It's a big deal not to sleep.  It's a big deal to watch your child in pain and discomfort.  It's a big deal to see their frustration.  IT IS A BIG DEAL.  It's not fun to practice with a cast.  It's not fun to ever have to go through it... So, yes, again, it's a big deal when you have wasted 2 weeks of precious time with your child.

I do have to say Lucy did just fine in her cast.  BUT it's not something I ever want for her to have to keep going through!

So, with that said... how did it pop out in the cast?  Who knows.  The surgeon believes the cast wasn't at the best angle, and he wants to re-do it with her knee set higher.  So you know what this means.  Going in again, dealing with the fear and worry of your baby going under, and praying every minute that this big ugly cast can hold this bone in place.  

I did notice she lost weight, so I wonder if the cast got too loose?

I don't know.  I have been 'what if-fing' this for the last 24 hours, and there is just no answer.  Unlucky is the best one I can come up with.

The good news (if that's what you can call it) is that he won't have to open up Lucy again.  No cutting, no surgery.  He is going to put her to sleep, manipulate the bone back in, and re cast it at a different angle.  

We did get this cast removed yesterday, since there was really no point in having it on.  Yes, it was the best feeling to hug her and feel her, but at the same time, so painful to know that we start all over again.  Another first night, first week, first sponge bath, etc.  

After they cut the cast off, he came in to re examine her, steering very clear of this momma bear.  The wind was pretty much out of his sails.  I think he was just as shocked as we were.  Again, he is the head honcho of pediatric orthopedics.  It just goes to show you, NO ONE is perfect.  He messed with her legs, and said he can put it right back in now... He did it.  It just pops out.  So the answer is the cast needs to be done differently.  Her sockets are perfect also.

The first time, they already opened her up, cut the tendons around her femur to release it, so now her femur is floating around her hip like a lost puppy!  

I don't want to say her surgery was a failure.  I believe the cast was a failure.  

Before we left the hospital, he had a CT scan done on Lucy that showed her femur was perfectly in place.  Somehow, in 2 weeks time, it came out.

I am not going to lose faith in this doctor.  My first thoughts were to switch and 'what if' we chose the wrong guy.  'What if' we went to the first doctor we had a consult with.  

I honestly believe our choice in Dr. Segal was the right one, I just think that this is the way orthopedics go, and it SUCKS that it is my baby who is paying the price.  

It's one thing if it was me.  I SO WISH IT WAS ME who had to go through this and not her.  Heck, if I could trade places I would do ANYTHING to keep Lucy from ever having any discomfort, pain or anything hurtful in her life.  

Any parent reading this will understand.  The love you feel for this little tiny person you created is the most amazing thing in the world.  The mental anguish of going through this once is enough.  Let alone, twice... and this time, just praying that it works.  

Again, in the whole scope of life, Lucy is the smartest little 14 month old you would ever meet!  She knows where her ears, hair, nose and eyes are... She knows 'Where's Lucy?'  She beats her chest!  I say 'where's mama' and she points to me.  She knows what a cow sounds like, dog, snake, monkey and horsey.  Yep, that's my baby!  (Brag much?!)  She just has one hip that isn't wanting to co-operate!

So anyway... I know most of you know this update, but it really helps me to get it out via this blog since Aaron can only take me talking about it for so long until he gets upset... :-(  

On a happy note, I have a squishy little baby right now.  Chunky thighs and the softest skin EVER!  We are just going to enjoy every bath and every full night's sleep until Monday.  Monday, March 5th at 7:30 am.  We will back to PCH and my little sweetie will be back in a cast.  NOT a pink one this time.  That obviously wasn't a lucky color.  Purple (to match her room) will be the color of choice. 

Ahhhhh....... SUCKS!  Sucks really, really bad.  But... we can only all move forward and PRAY really hard that this works and her cast is perfect, she is comfortable and we make it through these next 12 weeks.  Nothing else to say.  I just hate the fact that we are back to square one.  

What is also hard is that we came home yesterday, cast free, and Lucy crawled to the chair, pulled herself up and started walking and pushing the chair around the house... like no big deal at all.  

That's my girl. :-) 

Since Aaron was off today, we decided to get out.  We had to.  It's pretty depressing around our house right now when Lucy is asleep.  Our minds keep running away from us... Then she gets up from nap and laughs and we give her raspberries on her tummy and I say, 'Holy cow I LOVE THIS KID' and I vow to do everything in the entire world to get her through this.  

So please, on Monday, please pray that this one works and we can get through this easily and quickly.  

Here are some pictures of our day at the Phoenix Zoo.  We loaded up her new radio flyer wagon and took off.  No pillows to prop her up!  We just went... :)  Of course, the first thing she wanted to do was ride the carousel.  So we did.  And then on the way out... she is jumping in her wagon freaking out again when we pass the carousel.  So what does momma do?  Take her on it again. (Mind you, Aaron and I both get SO dizzy from them!)  So there we were, dizzy momma and the most beautiful little girl on the carousel.  Round and round... The laughs and smiles from her keep us going!

Here are a few pics from today and yesterday.  

More to come and Monday can't come soon enough for these worried parents.....

I told you she was the most beautiful girl in the world!

First time around, riding the eagle

Making sure she was happy with the wagon :-)

Faster dada!!!! GOOOO!!!!!

Petting zoo!

LOVE HER

Thighs on the way home!

MOOO!!!!!

My angel baby

Monkey!

YAY!

She pets so soft because she is used to petting soft with the doggies